I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately. Recurring dreams. Not all exactly alike, but alike enough to be the same dream. And you know how if you’re having the same type of dream over and over, it kind of has to mean something right? It’s the figuring that out part that’s got me stumped.
So I’m regularly dreaming about a family member being really mean to me. Taunting me, dissing me and even throwing things at me. Not being crazy violent or anything, just really being mean and obnoxious. Now, full disclosure, I’m currently somewhat estranged from this family member. And have been for four years. Sad, I know.
Now, at first, this situation caused me incredible pain. I was just so very sad about what went down and how it went down. (Nope, not going into it because it really doesn’t matter.) But I’ve gotten over it. It is what it is, I stayed as authentic to myself in the situation as I know how and the rest is this person’s story. I really, truly feel that I’ve moved on with my life around this ‘thing.’
And yet…
These dreams. They just keep coming. So I’m wondering if even though I think I’m over it, I’m actually not? That would be the obvious message I guess. But as I sit here and try to bring up the sadness, anger, resentment, etc. that I once had around it, I seriously can’t. So I’m thinking that’s not it. Is this my subconscious’s way of saying I need to fix this? As I sit here and ask myself if I want to do that, I’m like, ‘Meh.’ No attachment.
My massage therapist happens to be one of my dearest friends. Not only are my massages physically awesome, but they work my brain too. She and I talk some deep stuff while I’m on the table. And there’s often an ‘A-HA!’ moment. Recently she reminded me that when things come up to the surface, like emotions about something, it’s usually because you’re finally ready to completely work through them and yes, let them go.
Maybe this is the same thing. Maybe these dreams are just the latest layer of the onion that I need to look at, then peel off. Okay, done.
I hereby declare that I’m over this. I’ve processed and have released all attachment.
Now…
How do you tell a dream to shut up?
Live and learn with love…