You can probably tell by reading my stuff that I’m the kind of person who likes to ‘do her work.’ By that I mean I’m usually trying to learn to do better. To be a better me. I try to see the areas of my life where I’m maybe not as authentic as I could be, then I try to address them. And I love this growing aspect of life. (Weird, I know.)
So as I’ve mentioned, I have a call with a friend/colleague every Friday a.m. We each get a half hour to talk about whatever we’re dealing with, working on, trying to figure out. And we intuitively help one another find a direction to move in regarding whatever that ‘thing’ it is. The other day I was talking about my need to slow down both physically and mentally. But as I’ve been thinking about it, it’s mostly mentally.
At one point my friend offered up this guidance. She said, when someone says something, or something happens that causes me to want to react right away, that I should try looking at it as an observer. In other words, kind of move away from myself and look at it from there. Maybe from above or something like that. I’m hoping you get what I mean.
She suggested that by doing that I now have the space to see if whatever it is is actually… ’mine.’ Meaning, is that thing I’m observing something that has to do with me? Is it something that I’m perceiving in a different way than it was intended? OR, does that thing have nothing to do with me at all and is someone else’s?
In other words. Space.
It’s giving myself space to see what this comment or action by someone else really is. By taking a few moments to observe this thing I can now see if I’m perceiving it correctly and can then decide how to react, or if I should react at all.
And it made me think of this. How many of us feel uncomfortable with silence in a conversation? (I don’t mean with your bestie or your spouse. Most of us are completely comfortable with silence when we know we’re in a safe space.) How many of us rush to fill in the gap in a conversation simply because there is one. I know I’m guilty. And if I’m doing that, am I really saying what I mean? Do I really need to say anything at all?
I’m not sure if this resonates with anyone.
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But I’m giving myself space.
(see what I did there?)
Live and learn with love…