Own it…and I think I owe myself and apology.

If I were to say there’s been a lot going on in my life for the past 3 or 4 months, it would be an understatement. Travel, guests, family issues, hurricane, new dog, health issues, another hurricane…it’s been challenging. Don’t get me wrong, some of it has been good, but much of it has been stressful and anxiety producing. This week I’ve been trying to write a blog post, but just couldn’t come up with anything I wanted to write about. The only thing I kept coming back to was something about all the turmoil that’s been going on in and around me. And really, who wants to read about that?
As I write this, I’m sitting at my car dealership waiting for them to service my car (it’s included so for all of you about to yell at me for bringing my car to the dealership for service, stand down…lol). At one point on my drive up I went to switch lanes. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the big, black, tricked out pickup in the lane next to me and kind of cut him off. It wasn’t really bad, he didn’t have to swerve or anything, I probably had a car length, but still, I cut him off. I’m halfway through the lane switch when I see him so I hit the gas to make some space between him and me. I look back and see him moving to the left in order to pass me and I can see he’s pissed. He’s sitting forward in his seat and he’s ready to start giving it to me. I could see the road rage amping up. But, like I said, I knew I was in the wrong, so when he passed, I leaned forward, waved and mouthed the words, ‘I’m sorry! My bad!’ And he immediately stopped. Meaning, his whole attitude shifted. He just stared at me with a blank face, waved, sat back and continued on his way. In other words, by owning what I had done and saying I was sorry, I completely diffused the situation. It went away.
And that made me think. Last week I was talking to a fellow Intuitive about all that was going on in my life and how frustrated I was because of the way I was handling (or not handling) my anxiety. She connected and read me and told me that I had to give myself a break. I had to stop being so hard on myself. I had to stop my ‘self rage’ and…
I had to OWN it.
Only by ‘owning’ all that was going on in my life, and just letting it be, without judgment or anger, could I diffuse it. I didn’t truly understand that until my drive up here this morning when I saw how owning it changed everything. I do believe that as I’ve grown, I’ve really tried to take responsibility for the things I’ve done wrong and I’ve apologized for them. But I think that’s mostly been to others. Like this pickup driver this morning. I apologized to him because I did him wrong. As humans I like to think that many of us do that, we apologize to others….just not to ourselves.
I think I owe myself an apology.
Live and learn in Munay.