Let’s get kicked in the teeth.

Every quarter I, along with my fellow Animal Communicators get together on a call with our teacher to just sort of check in. We talk about what’s going on with clients, what’s going on with us, how we can improve our readings, or really whatever is coming up for us. Last Tuesday afternoon I was looking forward to that call and wanted to talk to everyone about marketing/advertising and what was working or wasn’t working for them. I’ll admit, I’ve been having trouble getting my name and what I do out there so I was really looking forward to some advice. When I brought the subject up, our teacher/mentor asked if she could connect with me psychically to see if she could help figure out what was going on. I was expecting to get information like, ‘You need to focus on this segment,’ or ‘Do more of [this] type of marketing.’ Instead, the information she received was that I wasn’t personal enough in my marketing efforts, specifically in my blogs, and that I needed to get more vulnerable.
I don’t know about you, but just the word ‘vulnerable’ brings me to what I like to call a very ‘pokey’ place. To me, being ‘vulnerable’ has always been a bad thing. When you’re vulnerable, you open up. And when you open up, you invite attack. I was brought up that being vulnerable and too personal was a no-no. You had to be on the defensive and be watching your back all the time. I get this from my Dad. He was a corporate big-wig and that’s just how you operate in that world. I too was a corporate yahoo for awhile so that attitude was easy to adopt. (To this day, when I have dinner with my father in a restaurant, he INSISTS on having his back to a wall so he can see what’s coming at him. Like I said, always on the defensive.)
Anyway, so here I am on my call listening to what she’s saying and hearing (in my mind) ‘you’re not good enough,’ and feeling defensive and yea, vulnerable because I’m now starting to cry and desperately trying to hold it all in. Mind you, this call is on Zoom. So not only can everyone hear me crying, they can see me all red faced and blubbery. Not a good look for me. Then there’s this…
Recently, I sort of kind of decided to dip my toe in the ‘vulnerability’ pool in another area of my life. I decided to speak my mind to someone about something. Now, I’d never spoken my mind to this person because it was always easier not too. Instead, I just let whatever they said that I found hurtful or I didn’t agree with go. As I said, just easier. But not this time. This time, I said what I felt. I put myself out there. I got personal and vulnerable. And I got kicked in the teeth. We haven’t spoken since.
But here’s the thing. In the midst of all the sadness and angst about that situation, my hubby looked at me and said, ‘Let me ask you something. Do you feel even just a little relief that you were just so transparent about your feelings?’ And through my tears, I said…yes. I know this is going to sound corny, but when I was totally transparent in the above situation, I made sure I was coming from a place of love and compassion as opposed to anger. That made all the difference. That allowed me to feel good about myself for sticking up for myself, but also for just putting myself out there.
On my Zoom call the other day, I think I was waiting for it. I was waiting to be kicked in the teeth. I was waiting to be ridiculed. To be laughed at. But it never happened. Instead, my phone started pinging with text messages from my friends on the call saying things like, “love you!” “sending you major [hearts]!” “you are so brave!”
You know in Santa Claus is Coming to town? How the Winter Warlock melts when he’s given a Choo-Choo Train?
Yea, that… ?

Live and learn in munay.