I talked a bit last week in my blog post about how Universe is always helping us and how we need to listen, let go, and allow ourselves to be guided (“Let what’s suppose to happen happen,” https://www.gerikarabin.com/mediumship-reading/). And I’ve really learned to trust that when we do, the path lights up and we start to see what our next move should be, or we get the messages we need at the exact time we need them, and we’re able to change our mindset and focus on the positive.
As most of you know I’m just a tad past the halfway point in my chemo treatments. According to my doctor, everything is going well and I’m holding strong. However, as they say, ‘stuff is getting real.’ Lol. In other words, I’m really starting to feel crappy both physically and mentally. The drugs kind of beat your body up (in my case with some super weird but kind of interesting side effects) and they most definitely take a toll on your mind. Now throw in a pandemic where you basically have to lock yourself in to your house because you’re ‘high risk’ and things really start to amp up.
Full disclosure, this week was my first super hard week. Every time the hubby walks out the door I’m terrified he’s going to bring something back in with him. I’m not really afraid of actually getting the virus itself, I know I would survive it. What I am afraid of is either him or I getting it and that causing us to have to stop my treatments for awhile. I do NOT want that to happen. (Like seriously, let’s get these over with!) So there’s this incredible stress around all of this. Now you should probably know by now if you read me that I’m a pretty ‘glass half full’ kind of person. I really try hard to make the best of most things. But yea, this week? Nope. I haven’t been able to. I haven’t been able to pivot myself out of anything. I haven’t been able to turn any lemons in to lemonade. And THAT has been kicking my butt almost as much as the chemo. It’s super uncomfortable for me to be wallowing in ‘stuff.’ So what’s happening is that while I’m feeling crazy crappy, I’m also beating myself up for not being able to think my way out of it. In other words,
I’m my own worst enemy right now.
Right now, this is my life. This is everyone’s life. And no matter how hard we try to make the best of things, or make that lemonade, some days we can’t. And we have to let that be okay. We just have to accept where we are and sit with it for a bit.
Last night, the hubby and I watched old Andy Williams Christmas Specials on Netflix and it was enough to make me forget everything for just a little bit before I went to bed. This morning I woke up to an email from a friend whom has been where I am right now. Her timing was perfect and she knew EXACTLY where I was at this stage in things and EXACTLY what to say (thank you G.B….you made a HUGE difference).
So maybe that’s it. Sometimes we have to just let was is, be. And then wait for the Universe to step in. And maybe, just maybe, that in itself is the making of the lemonade.
Live and Learn in Munay
ps. Don’t forget to check out my podcast with ‘The Psychic Wives’ here on Apple Podcasts! And give us a Like and a review!