It’s just a closet…

I’m a fairly neat person. There’s a place for everything in my house…for the most part anyway. And I know where everything is. Case in point, the other day I was sitting by the pool and the hubby yelled down from the upstairs deck, “Fabric tape measure?” And I replied without opening my eyes, “Upstairs office. Writing desk. Top left drawer. Front left corner.” Which is exactly where he found it. (It wasn’t where I found it after he used it, but that’s another blog about picking your battles or giving up after 26 years or something like that…) But I digress as they say. So, yes, I know where pretty much everything is in my house and it’s in fairly decent order in that space.
Except when it comes to the linen closet in the master bathroom. It’s not a huge closet, but it should be perfectly fine for the sheets that go with the master bed and the towels that go in that bathroom. And yet…. This particular linen closet is one of those that you have to pry open and shove things in. It’s the kind of closet that you have to hold on to stuff and push it back as you pull out one hand towel. It’s the kind of closet where the burgundy towels are mixed with the cream towels and the king pillow cases are tangled with the regular pillow cases. And it’s the kind of closet where the things you don’t know where else to put end up. I’m serious. And every time I open that door, I think of my Mom’s linen closet where everything was neatly folded and sat on a specific shelf right above its label. ‘King sheets,’ ‘Single sheets,’ ‘Bath towels-Lg,’ ‘Bath towels-Sm.’ I was actually thinking of taking a picture of my closet and putting it in this post, but then I realized I would be way too embarrassed to do that.
The fact is I’m ashamed of my linen closet. Actually, that’s not true. I’m ashamed of myself because of my linen closet. In my mind, because my linen closet is such a mess, surely it means that I don’t have my act together, that I’m not an organized person, that I’m not a clean person, and that everyone else is better than me. Which, if you really think about it, is insane. In this crazy world we live in the fact that we as humans hold ourselves up to, or measure our worthiness by, something as ridiculous as the neatness of a closet is insane. Yet we do. So what is it about us that picks that one thing to beat ourselves up about? That one thing to feel ashamed of? Even when that one thing is something as harmless as a messy linen closet? I say ENOUGH!
I tell my clients all the time, ‘If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.’ And don’t feel bad about not doing it. Wait to be inspired to do it and be easy on yourself in the meantime. That way, it’s going to get done so much better than it would have if you forced yourself. For the past several weeks I’ve been looking at a To Do on my calendar that says, ‘CLEAN OUT LINEN CLOSET!’ And pretty much every day I just scoot it forward a few days because it makes me feel yucky when I think about it. Today, I’m going to delete it. And I’m going to tell myself…
I am not defined by my closet.
And I’m going to wait to be inspired to clean it out. And who knows, when I finally do, I may find something awesome in there…?
Live and learn in Munay.
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