Tomorrow I will be having surgery. The good kind of surgery. Tomorrow pretty much marks the end of my ‘year of cancer.’ Tomorrow they will be taking my port out because I no longer have to get infusions of chemo drugs. My last one was New Years Eve. Anyone who has had any kind of lengthy treatment for something that involves large amounts of drugs being pumped in to your body will tell you that it most definitely takes a toll. But I don’t think any of us realize just how much of a toll it takes until we’re climbing out on the other side. Note, by writing this post I am definitely not looking for accolades from anyone. You know who you are, you’ve been AMAZING and I appreciate you, but you can stand down… lol! That’s not what this is about, it’s about the simple things in life that can make you happy if you stop to notice. It’s about how good some endings can be, because they cause a beginning.
This past week was a beginning for me. The other day I was able to get fully in to a Yoga pose that I hadn’t been able to for almost a year. My body is slowly rebounding. As I sit here and write this, the words are coming more easily where as even a month ago I was struggling to find them. Chemo brain is real. Although I’m still sleeping a lot, when I wake up, I’m raring to go. The fog is lifting. The hubby and I were talking last night about all the exciting things coming up in our lives and all the things we want to do with our house. Renovations are back on. But the cool thing is, I’m noticing these things! I’m getting happy again! I’m excited about my day again! I’m beginning again!
Last year was cray-cray for everyone, but it’s over. Yea, there’s still some s*&t going on, but that’s life, right? Like me with my treatments, I’m not sure any of us realized just how much of a toll last year was taking on us. How much in a fog we have been. How we most definitely have not been ourselves. But last year is over. It has ended. So what if we all choose to leave it behind? What if we all choose right now to create an ending to all the yucky stuff and start fresh with a beginning? What if we decide to start noticing all the good? What if we just chose to be happy again? I get it, some endings can be hard…
But oh the beginnings….