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Being the first one on the bus.

I was on the phone with a close friend the other day and as usual, we were both talking and in the middle of doing three other things at the same time. As we neared the end of our call…she running off to prepare for a trip, me getting back to my computer and a class…I said that we needed to hook up the following week and try to get our act together. We both laughed, but sadly both understood what I meant by it. I said it felt to me that she and her hubby and me and mine were kind of all behind the eight ball. It felt like we were in this constant state of trying to catch up. Like we were always late and running for the bus. And it felt like this had been going on for months. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done some awesome things so far this year and had some amazing experiences I wouldn’t give up for the world, but there’s also been a whole lot of stress in there.
After I got off the phone, I started thinking about our conversation. And those descriptions I just wrote about trying to catch up kind of came together in to one theme. We have been in a constant state of giving our power away. Somehow, somewhere along the way, we all shifted from making our own conscious, thought out decisions base on what we wanted, to being completely reactive to the things and people around us. At some point we lost control and have been trying to play ‘catch up’ with our lives ever since. And we didn’t even realize we were doing it.
I’m currently in a bit of a weird place with a couple of people in my life. We’re not getting along and it’s maddening, upsetting, and super stressful. The other day, I was feeling completely anxious about the situation, telling myself I had to figure out a way to feel better about this. And at that moment, I did. I thought about that conversation with my friend and figured out this was the same thing! It was all about me having to take my power back. Up until that point, I was just waiting to see what these people were going to do before I figured out what I was going to do. I was putting them in charge. When instead, I should have been deciding what I wanted to do, doing it, and letting them do the same.
Has the situation with these folks gotten any better. No, it hasn’t. (and frankly, part of the reason for this is because I’ve taken my power back…but that’s another blog…) However, my stress level about it has. It just took me realizing I needed to take control of my own portion of the deal to be able to get in front of it.
Sometimes it’s not easy to even see when you’ve given your power away. But once you do, and once you take it back,
You’re the first one on the bus.
Live and learn in Munay.

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