As I write this, I’m on day 37 of an ear thing. By the time you read this, I may or may not be on day 41. By ear thing I mean my left ear has been ringing and mostly blocked for over a month. This started right before I left for my trip to NY for a class. And although it really doesn’t hurt, and hasn’t bothered me in all the planes I’ve been on over the past month, it does bother me when I’m in a loud space (like a classroom with 155 people), or swimming (like in the ocean with dolphins), or on the phone (like with clients every day). In the middle of my week of study, I decided I needed to do something about it so I went to the local ‘doc-in-the-box’ to see someone. The doctor there gave me some meds. I took those for the remainder of that week and into the next week when I was in Bimini for my dolphin trip. Neither worked so I stopped taking them.
The week after I got back I decided I should see my regular PA and get another opinion. Thinking it was allergy induced she gave me a mild nasal spray and another OTC pill. Three days after I started those, I broke out in a rash. So I stopped. Last week I decided to approach it from another angle and visited my massage therapist who knows reflexology, my other massage therapist who does ear candling and lymphatic drainage, and my Reiki Master who just knows how to really get things moving. And they are. Moving I mean. But not enough to stop the ringing and the blockage.
In addition to all that, I’ve been trying to figure out how I manifested this thing. You see, in reality, everything is psychosomatic. We create our illnesses or dis-ease by the thoughts and beliefs we have. So, I made this happen. But how and why? Was it something I’ve been blocking? Something I haven’t wanted to hear? Someone I wasn’t listening to? Was I not listening to myself?
I’ll admit, this morning when I got up and still couldn’t hear I was pissed. I was like, ‘Come ON! This is ridiculous! WTF!? I have been coming at this thing from every angle I can and NOTHING!’ And then I thought about it. By trying to find someone to fix this and by trying to figure out what the heck I did to create this, deserve this, get stuck with this, I’ve been wallowing in it. Keeping it in my vibration. Letting it rule my days. And it’s been ruling my days since July 3rd. (Really, I should get this stuff by now…) No more. I’m letting it go. I don’t care anymore why it’s happened and I’m not going to try to do anything more about it. I’m just going to let whatever lesson I’m supposed to be learning from this sink in.
By the time you read this I may or may not be on day 41 of this ear thing. Why?
I don’t know. And I give up.
This time I mean it…
Live and learn in Munay.
Another blog about giving up. This time I mean it.
- By Geri Karabin