An alarm clock and that damn song…

Lately, I find myself writing a lot about letting go. And I tell my clients stuff like, “Let it go. You can’t even begin to create things as well as God/Spirit/Universe can. Everything is working out…” all the time. And I’ll admit, I’m starting to get pretty good at just letting go and letting things roll off my back and stopping trying to control things myself. But NOT when it comes to losing control of my routine.
As I write this, we’re on day 7 of having painters in our house. Everyday they show up at 8am to start setting up and get whatever they can done that day. Now, my office is upstairs in my house. I work at home. That means I don’t really have to get up at any certain time, certainly not 7am to get ready to be kicked out of my office. Since they’re painting the kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom, all upstairs, I need to kind of get out of their way. So, every morning I pack up my computer, any books I’ll need, phone, headset, snacks, clothes, and even makeup (I might need it in case I have to hold a client session over Zoom…when people can actually see me…) and take it all downstairs to our family room area. Where my dog Gigi and I stay most of the day. Me trying to get work done (and constantly remembering something I need upstairs and forgot to bring down but now can’t get to), her stressing because our routine is completely off since this all began. Or so I thought.
Which leads me to the lessons the animals I communicate with continue to teach me. The other day I read for a woman whose animal was trying to teach her to let go (yep, that again…), calm down, try to stop being such a perfectionist, to go with the flow, etc. And the animal was showing her that she needed to do this by mirroring her behavior. She was acting the way the woman was feeling. Stressed and out of control.
Which brings me back to Gigi. Yesterday was one of those day. The phone was ringing off the hook, my email was pinging away, I was getting text messages from two different numbers, I needed stuff that was upstairs, I didn’t have access to my printer, and at 2pm a writing client wanted to know if I could get six pieces done in less than 24 hours. All good stuff I admit, but man, was it hitting all at once. At one point, I found myself completely breathing shallowly, unable to focus, and yes, close to tears. I felt like I was barely hanging on. I kept looking at the clock to see when it was going to be ‘closing’ time so at least the phone might stop ringing. In the middle of all of that, Gigi comes up to me and she’s making those sounds that a dog makes at 3am that causes you to sit bolt upright in bed and do your best to get them to a tile or hardwood floor because you know something’s coming up (I swear they should make an alarm clock with that sound…no one would hit snooze…). So I rush her outside and she starts chowing down on grass, something she does when her stomach is upset. But this time, she’s actually doing it while looking directly at me. It was like she was saying, ‘Mom, I really don’t want to be eating this stuff, but if this is what I have to do in order to make you just chill out and forget trying to control all this stuff and have it all perfect and calm, then this is what I’m going to do.’
Most of you know I love animals more than most people (no offense…), so when I realized that what I was doing or how I was allowing myself to feel was causing anxiety in my dog…well, I felt like crap. So I stopped. The last time I posted a blog about letting go, my dear friend Cindy sent me a gif of that Frozen chick singing that ‘Let it Go!’ song. So I’ll apologize right here for putting it back in to all of your heads, but….
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door.
 
You’re welcome…
 
 Live and learn in Munay.