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A friendly competition?

I was thinking the other day about the phrase, “a friendly competition,” and it got me wondering, is there such a thing? I mean competition, yes, but friendly? I don’t know. I get that we can aim to have a friendly game of monopoly, or golf, or cards with someone, but can it every truly be friendly? Maybe for some people, but I’m not so sure for me. Hear me out on this one.
I’ll admit it. I’m a fairly competitive person. Honestly, I think that may come from my childhood and feeling a sense of competition for Mom and Dad’s attention with my brothers and sister. I think that’s natural. We all look for approval and when someone is getting it over you, that can cause a problem. Jealousy. Unfortunately, that jealousy often translates in your head as, ‘I’m not good enough and that’s why I’m not getting the attention/clients/wins I want/need/deserve.’
A couple of weeks ago I and some of my colleagues took part in what some could call a friendly competition. We didn’t go in to it calling it that, it was just an event where we offered a discount on our services to anyone who booked a session with us within a certain amount of time. But, we’re all human and you know the ‘competition’ aspect was in the back of our minds. ‘What if they do better than me?’ ‘What if one of them gets more than me?’ Well of course, some did. That’s kind of how it works. Unfortunately, because we’re human, some of us got kind of pokey about the outcome.
So let me go back to the ‘unfriendly’ aspect of this. When I say that I don’t think I can have a ‘friendly competition,’ I definitely don’t mean I can’t be friendly to the person I’m in the competition with. I really am happy that things worked out for them. What I mean by that is, I have a hard time being friendly to myself after I perceive that I’ve lost. As humans, when we don’t win, some of us, myself included, blame ourselves. ‘What’s wrong with me that I didn’t get _____? Is it something I said? Something I did? The way I look?’ And we move in to a bit of panic mode around all that. At least most of us do.
There are those people out there that absolutely can have a ‘friendly competition.’ Because they have no attachment to the outcome. They are perfectly happy with themselves and with their abilities. They are authentic. They are confident. They know there is always enough to go around. And they know that by blaming yourself, you’re not allowing the good to flow to you. They know that any competition can in fact be friendly if you know that even if you lose, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy.
So. I’ve decided to have a little competition. With myself. I’m going to see which side of myself starts to show up every day from now on. The one who is attached to an outcome, or the happy, confident, authentic version of me. And it will be…
A friendly competition.
Live and learn in Munay.

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